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Most men want to
know their women are beautiful. Most women want to know their men have
worth. Learn how to create social value in yourself, and the ladies
will become MUCH more attracted to you even before you display any
other seductive traits.
Fame:
What’s it good for?
Before dealing
with physical strategies, I want to talk for a second about fame.
I know, this
really separates me from the rest of the world, but dare to be
different I say.
Fame is a major
turn-on, for BOTH men and women. Why?
Well, let me
tell you, the reasons are ENTIRELY different. For men, fame works if
the woman is famous for her BEAUTY. If she’s a famous scientist, say,
that doesn’t count. She has to be a universally recognized knockout.
Get together with her, and not only are you the MAN for beating out so
many other comers, but you KNOW she gorgeous. That’s what made her
famous.
For women, it’s
the social STATUS that comes from being famous. The respect, the
dominance – the fact that you can skip the lines at shows, that you get
preferential treatment, that you can show her worlds that regular guys
can’t – which is the turn-on. You COULD be a famous politician, ugly as
sin, but because you get free tickets to the opera, hey, that’s good
enough.
That would never
work on a man.
These sorts of
things are HARDWIRED into us. Exactly what the hunter-gatherers were
doing is hard to say for sure, but take a look at monkeys.
Of
Alphas and Men
Chimpanzees are
fiercely dominant and territorial. There’s one alpha male who gets to
have sex with pretty much everyone. All the other males have to stay
out of his way, if they’re even allowed to HANG OUT with the group.
It’s not unusual
for the alpha male to literally squeeze the testicles off of a
challenger. Out of respect for the victims, I’m foregoing all
ball-busting jokes here.
If you’re a
female chimp, who do you think you’re going to wind up going for? The
alpha, who’ll at least take care of the group, or Mr.
Soon-to-be-Castrated, who even if he has sex with you and gets you
pregnant, those kids’ll just be killed by the alpha when they’re born?
The nature of
the chimp selects those having sex with the alpha. Eventually –with
human rationalizing when you get to us – you go from HAVING to have sex
with him to WANTING to.
Nice to know
that we humans aren’t the only screwed-up things on the planet.
That sets the
stage.
Of
Orgies and Men
But then there’s
also the bonobo monkey, a lesser-known primate that’s almost as close
to us as chimps. And these guys play with different rules.
They aren’t
violent, for the most part. They live in a matriarchal society, and
there really ISN’T an alpha system like elsewhere in nature. Instead,
female bonobo have sex in exchange for protection and provisions.
Sometimes bonobo
are literally having sex with the males holding bananas in their hands,
promising to hand them over once they get their rocks off.
Sound familiar?
So which way are
we programmed? Both ways.
Women are turned
on by dominant alpha men. It triggers their lust, from all the
THOUSANDS of years that women have had sex with dominant men.
And women are
also turned on by men who can provide. It triggers their nesting
instinct, their need for security and protection and, um, food.
The bonobo have
a problem though. When you live in a world where women want monogamy
AND it’s matriarchal AND gives a rational choice to the women about
sex, merely showing yourself a provider isn’t going to work often.
The bonobo have
sex all the time with everyone, so it can work.
How’s it all
translate to us?
Humans don’t, so
you wind up in a courtship that lasts months or years, with a woman who
can always choose another provider. You aren’t triggering her emotion,
but her logic, as a bonobo male.
Plus, most women
aren’t walking around hungry for a banana. If only it were that easy.
The chimp alpha
system, however, isn’t logical. It’s primal. Emotional. And the
underlying understanding of chimp society is women don’t have the
choice.
They NEED to
have sex with the alpha.
When you get to
the complex level of humans, this need becomes ATTRACTION.
Alright, let’s
bring it home.
If the thousands
of years of evolution have conspired to make women attracted to
dominant males, how do WE become that?
Aside from
castrating others I mean.
CREATE
social value in yourself
Believe it or
not, the process is pretty simple. And it all starts with relaxed
confidence. Remaining playful because you’re comfortable in your skin.
Secure in yourself.
Outside signs
can be created, as well. Become friendly with doormen, get to the point
where you can say “Hey Jimmy” and walk past the throngs and through the
velvet rope at a few clubs.
Get to know
maitre-des who can bring you in through the kitchen to a table reserved
at a hot hard-to-enter restaurant.
Sound hard to
do? It’s not – it just takes a little friendliness to the right people.
Become friends with them, and you get the preferential treatment that
says you’re an alpha.
When you’re in a
group, remember that YOUR opinion is the one that matters most.
That’s where a
lot of people get messed up – they think the alpha has to be the focal
point, because he often is.
THAT’S not the
key, though. Try too hard, and you come off as an insecure attention
starved spotlight hog. The point isn’t to be the LOUDEST or to say the
MOST, but to have the trend-setting opinion, which starts with
believing in yourself. And NOT caring if others follow – they will, but
not if they feel you forcing them.
If a
scene-stealer comes in and tries to ruin your game, a simple eye roll
and relocation – “Let’s go get a drink.” – is MUCH more powerful than
entering into a limelight fight. It says you’re confident, in control
of the situation, AND in a position of power, from which you can
communicate “This is no fun, let’s find something that is.” You LEAD.
People will follow.
And you don’t
have to maim a soul.
A LITTLE
arrogance can communicate that power as well, much better than some
Neanderthal brawl.
So how do you
compete with the famous, and trigger the lust that their power does?
Make
Your Circle
You create a
circle within which YOU are a star. You get the good table and the chef
comes to it and makes off-the-menu dishes. The DJ requests a request
from you. And your friends reinforce the aura of importance that
travels around with you.
If you’re
starting from scratch, it can take awhile to build a complete circle.
Once it’s there, though, women will respond to it. POWERFULLY.
There’s nothing
like being popular to increase popularity.
And the little
ball busting you do is of the non-violent, playful variety.
From there,
getting to WANT to translate your social value into sexual action is a
MUCH simpler step. ACT powerful, and you BECOME powerful. And power on
a man is sexy.
If you want to
learn more about how to use social value intelligently to attract the
women you've always desired, check out my latest ebook, The
Blueprint: A Linear Breakdown Of Seduction. It lays
out, from start to finish, the entire process of seduction... from
meeting a woman all the way to what you have to do to get her to your
bedroom.
Enjoy.
Regards,
Derek Vitalio
http://www.seductionscience.com
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