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Online Dating -- Defect From An Army Of Dilberts

By Grant Adams
(c) N2B Partners, www.Net2Bed.com -- All Rights Reserved
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Do you know what the second biggest complaint from women is about online dating?

It's that each and every man they see seems like every other man they see!

They all do the same things, say the same things, list the same things, IM the same things, and in the end, seem like the same guy. And this applies no matter what you look like, what you wear, what you drive, or what you do for a living.

To millions of these beautiful women online who get net attention, we're all just an Army of Dilberts, living in our online dating cubicles, trying to get by. Isn't that how you sometimes feel when you're writing your profile, or sending an email? I used to.

Well, it's time to DEFECT!

You need to ABSOLUTELY STAND OUT. How to capture her attention and build it, step by step until she can't get enough of learning about you? You need to be the guy who's got a way of speaking, and of hearing her.

And you've got to start with your profile. Guys make all sorts of mistakes when writing their own profiles. Stupid mistakes. I call them Blunders because they are so incredibly easy to detect and avoid, but they get made every day by most men anyway. But some of these blunders are repeated over and over again, sinking most guys like rusty battleships.

Women read these profiles and assess who you are by what you write. If you write like an idiot, they'll think you're an idiot. So here's what to look out for. Read this list -- it's the bare minimum you need to rise over -- then go check you're your own profile.

1) Don't misspell
Dude, use your spell-check, stick your file in Word and spell-check it. Are you a computer idiot? Use a dictionary. Women hate it when men misspell. It shows sloppiness, an inattention to detail. And women like attention to detail – just consider their predilection for oh, decoration and foreplay. Get it? The two words I see misspelled most often – "independent" and "definitely".

2) Avoid clichés
You are not a "hopeless romantic", a "gentleman and a scholar", or "a boy next door". Please! It's been done.

3) Avoid general, generic language
You don't like walks on the beach, a nice wine with dinner, feel comfortable in jeans and t shirt. Dude – go read some guy sites and see how often men write the same thing. They are clueless. More importantly, to an attractive woman online, they are the same as all the other… invisible.

4) Be precise in your language
Say "Chicago Blues" – which is better than "blues". "Shiraz" is better than "wine". (no Chardonnay (feminine), no Merlot (lazy)). The Palms is better than Vegas. Ribeye steak is better than mere steak. Azure is better than blue. Aspen grove is better than forest. The more precisely you can paint the environment of your life, the more tactilely and sensuallly her imagination will project her into it.

5) Be dynamic in your language
That means active verbs. Verbs that pack power, action, movement. Avoid static words like "is" "are" and "have" – those are static verbs. Use dynamic verbs – USE A THESAURUS to make your sentences sizzle.

6) Show, Don't Tell
Possibly the most important writing rule of all. Don't list. Don't talk about. Don't tell about yourself. Show yourself. If you're funny, don't say you're funny – be funny. If you love your little nephew don't (cliché) say he's the "light of my life" – paint a picture of something you and he do together or how he makes you laugh. This is the difference between George Clooney coming on screen and telling you the story of Ocean's 11, and George Clooney in the action of it. Which is more interesting? Show your life, don't describe it. Write little movie scenes in your profile. She will be drawn into that movie.

Got it? Now, there are lots more specific techniques to increase mystery, ignite desire, and incite to action. And to truly stand out online, you'll need to master those, too.

Don't waste your time dating online if you aren't going to make the effort to do it right.