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A lot of guys
think that they have to buy their way to a woman’s heart – or at least
have enough money, looks, cars, skills in whatever, and so on to win a
woman's affections.
Usually they
have the following ideas in their head:
“I need to have
a lot of money to have beautiful women.”
“I need to have
a new car to have beautiful women.”
“I need to have
this or that skill to have beautiful women.”
“I need to have
thick arms and a model’s face to have beautiful women.”
“I need to be
the most interesting conversationalist on the planet to have beautiful
women.”
“I need to have
more of a life to have beautiful women.”
So it’s no
surprise that when a man with these ideas in his head actually has a
date with a beautiful woman, he’s insecure – because he doesn’t live up
to his idealized image of what he should be.
So he
compensates by attempting to buy a woman’s attention – with candies,
cards, flowers, presents, and fine dining.
Of course, on
the inside he’s nervous as hell – nervous on an unconscious level that
he’s a fake and a fraud, not truly living up to his idealized image of
what he should be – and nervous that the woman, despite his best
efforts, will accept his gifts but reject HIM.
So he acts
conservative about what he says and does so as to please the woman and
not risk in any way offending her...
...leading him
to act stiff and wooden with sweaty palms and wet armpits...
...making him
even more nervous and uncomfortable – which the girl can sense through
subtle body language and voice signals...
...making HER
feel nervous and uncomfortable as well.
It’s a date
that’s sure to end in a vicious downward spiral of flaming disaster.
Believe me, a
long time ago I was there too and it wasn’t fun. In fact, it’s sort of
feels like walking in front of a speeding bus.
Now, some guys
who rightfully avoid this “I’m a desperate super-nice guy,
I-have-to-kiss-her-ass-so-that-hopefully-she-likes-me” behavior make
the mistake of overreacting and doing just the exact OPPOSITE.
They play the
role of the COLD JERK.
Instead of being
the kissy-assy nice guy, they act like the meanie.
Instead of
playfully teasing a girl, they put her down about things she can’t
change about herself and insult her.
They turn their
backs on and ignore the girl to the point of rudeness.
They ignore what
the girl has to say when she’s genuinely opening up to them.
They laughed AT
the girl when she does something silly or stupid or makes an honest
mistake.
Instead of
calling her a “brat” in a teasing way, they call her “stupid” or a
“slut” at seemingly random moments.
They flake out
on a girl simply to “discipline her”, even when she’s already been
showing the best behavior.
This kind of
approach doesn’t work either, because it's cruel. Girls will just think
you’re a dick, and rightly so. High quality girls won’t put up with it,
at least not for long.
So while you
don’t want to be a total kiss-ass, this does NOT mean you want to make
the mistake of becoming a cold jerk either.
Here’s the key.
You want to be
CHIVALROUS IN SMALL WAYS... THAT HAVING NOTHING TO DO WITH MONEY!
Yes that’s
right. You want to be a gentleman in SMALL ways and do SMALL courtesies
for her.
Like opening and
closing the car’s passenger-side door for her to get in.
Or holding the
door open for a woman and allowing her to walk through first.
Or allowing the
woman to step off the elevator first before you do.
Or if she’s
wearing a genuinely nice dress or an interesting accessory, to
compliment her on it.
Or listening to
her – genuinely listening to her - when she has something to say.
None of these
small courtesies have anything to do with money. By being chivalrous,
you are NOT attempting to buy her affections.
Instead, you’re
showing her courtesies that she would expect ANY guy with a good heart
to show ALL women, regardless of whom the woman was or her looks.
After all,
wouldn’t you hold the door open for your grandmother? Or help her down
the steps? Or genuinely listen to what a friend had to say?
Chivalrous
behavior shows to a woman that you have a *side* of you that is of a
refined gentleman. It’s your protective side - the side of you that
would look after her if she got sick and be there to feed her chicken
soup.
Chivalrous
behavior demonstrates to a woman that you have SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE –
that you act appropriately in different social situations.
For example, if
she found herself at the Presidential Inaugural Ball with you, she
would know you could hold your own with the suit-wearing elites and
wouldn’t act like some foul-mouthed jackass.
If she
introduced you to her parents she would know you wouldn’t slap her ass
in front of her Dad or crack diarrhea jokes in front of her Mom.
Of course, being
chivalrous in small ways doesn’t mean being careful and conservative
about how you act around women. Chivalry doesn’t mean becoming a boring
stiff who is always worried whether he’s acting in the right manner.
And chivalry
doesn’t mean “Knightly Chivalry” where you ride in on a horse, recite
poems, and sprinkle rose pedals around her feet like she’s Queen
Guinevere.
Being chivalrous
isn’t the same as being wishy-washy “nice”.
To illustrate:
after helping her out of the car, you might be making funny faces and
sticking your tongue out at her.
A few minutes
after holding her hand down some steps you might start a tickling match
with her.
After noticing
her new dress, you might give her a playful slap on the ass.
The key is to be
relaxed, playful and fun and punctuate it with chivalric behavior.
Surprise her by
showing how much a gentlemen you can be at moments, and how much a
gentleman you are to ALL women - including your friends, relatives, and
even total strangers.
You may hit her
by surprise in the back of the head with a pillow or call her a “dork”
in a teasing kind of way, but you also help old ladies across the
street.
Remember, you
want her to think that you’re a GOOD guy with a GOOD heart, not a wet
noodle of a “nice guy” who will do anything for her no matter how badly
or rudely SHE acts. Small acts of courtesy will get you farther in this
respect than any number of large gifts.
Now, dropping
the personal insecurities that lead to the eternal damnation of nice
guy hell while not overreacting and becoming a Neo-Nazi jerk puts you
at a good starting point. But being a cool guy alone will not get you
laid all by itself – at least not with the very hottest women and
Perfects 10s.
The Seduction
Science System is the result of years of my personal
experience and research and I’ve put it all together in one easy to
read package which you can have at your fingertips at this moment RIGHT
NOW.
You’ll also get
access to my all-new, members only VIP Lounge which is now full of a
bunch of great guys.
Why the hell
wait - let’s face it… SOON YOU'LL BE DEAD AND BURIED. You have only
ONE chance on this Earth to make the most of it and one of the most
satisfying things you can do for yourself is have a beautiful woman in
your lap and in love with the REAL YOU.
I’m not talking
about one of those fleeting moments of happiness and excitement like
when you get a new car or get a job promotion. I'm talking about true,
long lasting CONTENTMENT that you wake up with every morning and makes
you happy to be alive. Yes, that’s the feeling you get when you're with
a beautiful woman!
So check out the
Seduction Science System... it'll
open up a new world for you.
Your Friend ,
Derek Vitalio
http://www.seductionscience.com
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